Misfit

This past Sunday we finished up our worship series "A Fresh Start" at Colonial Heights.  I had picked this series to coincide with "back to school" and the fact that I am new to Colonial Heights and to South Knoxville (I have previously served churches in North, East, and West Knoxville).  The second in the series was entitled "Fit In" which had the assignment for the congregation to "choose good peeps" (associate with people who bring out the best in you).

BIT:  The Brewster's "A Fresh Start" has been a little strange.  We have moved from a community (Farragut in West Knoxville) which has, perhaps, the highest family income of anywhere in East Tennessee to South Knoxville (I don't have the stats, but I'm thinking it doesn't rank in the top 10 in family income).  To say that our move has raised a few eyebrows would be an understatement.  
Soon after moving I went to get my hair cut at Great Clips.  They asked if I was a previous customer (they track your hair cuts on the computer so that they can taylor them to your liking).  I told them that I had been to a Great Clips somewhere else, but that this was my first time here.  They put my info in the computer.  When my name was called, I shared how I wanted my hair cut.  My cutter (that doesn't sound right, but to call her a stylist ... well, you've seen my hair ... stylist would be close to a miracle worker), knowing that I was new to the community she asked, "So, where did you move from?"  I replied, "We just moved from Farragut."  My hair cut stopped.  She looked at me through the mirror, a questioning look emerged on her face (long pause) ... and she said, "From Farragut to South Knoxville?  Why?  Were you looking for a slower pace?"

BITTER:  As a United Methodist Pastor, only twice have I been able to choose my peeps (I was given the choice to go to Wesley Memorial in Cleveland and to First Broad Street in Kingsport).  All the other times, my peeps were chosen for me. This is probably a good thing.  Fitting in has not always been my strong suit.  Junior High (yes, I came before the concept of Middle School) and High School were not "good times".  Brewster Peeps were hard to come by.  My motto was (like Hermey the Elf) "I'm Independent." Again, to say that that attitude didn't work so well would be an understatement.  College, Emory and Henry, was to be my "A Fresh Start" ... I don't know if E and H was just a collection ground for misfits, but I found that I fit in.  And, I was surrounded by peeps that brought out the best in me (or at least brought out the fun in me - good times!).

BITTEST:  I've been blessed ever since.  Each place that I've been appointed ... be it my choosing (Cleveland and Kingsport) ... or chosen for me ... from Strawberry Plains, to East Knoxville ... from Farragut to South Knoxville ... I've been surrounded by peeps that bring out the best in me.  South Knoxville and Colonial Heights is not different.  It is mysterious how we fit in to the Body of Christ.  No matter our demographic, we fit in.  It's not about how much you make or how big a house you have or what emblem is on the front of your car (unless it's a Mustang or a Jeep and then I'm impressed) -- it's about the amount of love you have in your heart and how much of that love you are willing to share.  So, if you're a nitwit or just having trouble fitting in, if you're from South Knoxville or Farragut, in the words of Hermey, "Let's be independent together."

You've Lost that Bloggin' Feeling

I did, and I have ... lost that bloggin' feeling.  I've not blogged since March.  I had a blog selected for Monday, March 12 entitled "The Point of No Return".  It was focused on my deck remodeling project at our house in Farragut. However, something else happened on that day that stripped my bloggin' feeling right out from under me (not to mention that "The Point of No Return" title would have been sooo inappropriate given the situation).  The Situation (NOT Mike Sorrentino) was ... I was moving.  It was not firm exactly where I was moving to, but I really didn't want to move.  My mother-in-law was dying of cancer, my wife was in the midst of trying to change jobs, my kids were thriving in school, I was not ready to leave the church I was pastoring, not to mention that we owned a house in the community (for only 3 years) and I knew it would be a beast to sell and come away with what we had put into it, AND I had just torn up the deck (it's hard to sell a house with a huge hole in the deck).

BIT:  It was a huge disappointment!  Over the next month I struggled to wrap my mind around what was happening (and all the while, we were playing, what I have termed it, "Secret Squirrel").  I still didn't know exactly where we would be moving, which made it even more stressful.  In the midst of the disappoint, the stress, the grief, the sadness, the secrecy (and even some feelings of betrayal), I lost that bloggin' feeling.

BITTER: This past Sunday I preached on Disappointment as part of our "A Fresh Start" worship series at Colonial Heights Church (that's where we finally landed -- I'll blog [maybe] about that).  It really was a sermon I preached to myself and allowed the congregation to hang out with me.  Our assignment was, "When the (pencil) Lead Breaks: Rise Above Disappointment".  And I asked, "How do you do that?"  I know the answer is "Don't Go It Alone: Take God with You" because God is always ready to calm us in the midst of our storm.  And then it hit me (really hard, I might add)!  I've not awakened the living Christ to my storm (the scripture was Mark 4:35-41, Jesus Clams the Storm).  It's been a process ... slowly adding things that connect me to Christ (centering prayer, spiritual reading, etc.) ... and removing things that I have allowed to comfort me (temporarily) ... so that I might, like the disciples, tap into that power which made them ask, "Who is this?  Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

BITTEREST: So, in the prayer style of the Righteous Brothers, my prayer is that I get that bloggin' feeling back (you can pray it with me) ...

Baby (baby), baby (baby),
I beg of you please...please,
I need to blog (I need to blog), 
I need to blog (I need to blog),
So bring it on back (So bring it on back), 
Bring it on back (so bring it on back).

Bring back that bloggin' feeling,
Whoa, that bloggin' feeling
Bring back that bloggin' feeling,
'Cause it's gone...gone...gone,
and I can't go on,
noooo...

Amen.

Well, I can go on ... blogging (or lack there of) is not the end of the world.  Be looking for the answer to prayer ... coming soon?

I Give Up

What Are You Giving Up?

I know I am way behind (Yes, Lent did start over a week ago) and I've not posted anything in a while.  So, let's give it another try.


Pastor Families (families where there is a pastor or other church leader employee) sometimes have rather unique conversations.  One of those took place on Thursday evening after our Ash Wednesday Worship Service.  It was during dinner and our oldest turned the conversation to what we were giving up for Lent.  I chimed in that sometimes it's not so much what you're giving up, but what you're doing to be a better follower of Jesus (I may have a bias about giving things up).  What are you doing to grow closer in your relationship with Jesus during Lent?


There was silence ... and then we went right back to "What are you giving up?"  [This happens often when dad comes out with some whacked idea ... everyone knows that Lent is about giving things up].  So, my better half asked the kids what they were giving up for Lent (she's good at turning questions around ... in a good, for the betterment of society, sort of way). 


BIT: Then our oldest announced that he was giving up trapping for Lent.  Despite finding it incredibly disturbing, my oldest enjoys trapping squirrels in the backyard.  Yes, he has a trap that he bought with his Christmas money.  He baits it with pecans, catches squirrels, and then (TMI - the following has been censored, again it's a pastor thing).  I was elated with this decision, so I know Jesus was as well.  Our youngest then announced that he was giving up playing with Lego bricks.  My better half warned about how difficult it was going to be to give up something that you love so much.


BITTER:  The question had only been diverted for a short while, the oldest tried for the third time, "So, what are you all giving up for Lent?"  Last year I did fast on Thursdays and was successful (I did have to break the fast on one Thursday due to sickness, but that doesn't count ... does it?).  I had decided to give something up for Lent this year, but had really not wanted to share it.  After some thought, I decided that we are all family and we are all in this together, so I announced that I was giving up (TMI - I don't know who all is reading this, so you're on your own).  To which my better half announced that, "There is no way you're going to make it 40 days!"  To which I responded with "WOW! So what are you giving up?"  She then thought for a while and said that she was giving up (Really, you thought I was going to share ... I've learned some things about this blogging about the better half).  To which I responded ... I think I just laughed, because we both know that's not going to happen.


BITTEREST:  Our oldest is doing well so far.  Despite his love for trapping, varmints run freely and unobstructed through our backyard.  I've done well, so far.  Our youngest has already climbed up to retrieve the Lego bricks from the top of the refrigerator (where they "wouldn't be a temptation").  As for my better half ... Sunday's are a freebie day ... right?  A Resurrection in the midst of Lent?  Let's go with that ...

It is difficult to give up something you truly enjoy, even with the best of intentions.

Pump Up the Mood

I can be a pretty moody person.  Many would probably disagree, but that is just because I'm usually pretty good at covering my mood cake with a pretty thick layer of positive, optimistic icing.  Such was not the case on Friday.  Despite being my day off and a supposed day of rejuvenation from the week, there was no positive, optimistic icing for my cake. 

My family had been home long enough to know what my mood was like, and so when I announced I was going to watch a movie, my wife quickly had a suggestion.  She knows that when I'm in one of these moods, I will almost always pick something that really exacerbates the mood. She knows that I will pick some Sundance-esque, artsy, deep thinking, dark, end weirdly and in utter hopelessness and depression kind of movie.  I have a tendency to feed my miserable mood with "life is crap" movies and music.  Which then leads to ... well ... it's a very ugly looking cake.  Her suggestion, right on the heels of announcing my desire for a movie, was "Please!  Pick something HAPPY!"  Annoyed, I did!  Regretfully, I facebooked my selection before viewing the first five minutes, which clearly made me aware that it was rated R for several reasons.  But ultimately, it's B-grade (perhaps even C-grade -- it was not a cinematic wonder by any means), craziness of killer fish eating everyone and the comedy of bad scripting did lift my spirits.

BIT:  Media can help with our moods.  I regularly listen to my ipod when working out at the gym and running.  I find that music propels me to do better than I would have done without it (or in the case of the gym, trying to workout to "bad" music they pump in).  An article I was recently reading quoted a Brazilian study where cyclists who listened to music they liked were able to push themselves further, and that in Taiwan patients awaiting a heart procedure who listened to their favorite music had less anxiety than those who didn't listen to music. 

BITTER:  So, what is it about media that is able to lift our spirits and inspire us to do and be greater (or feed the bad mood)?  Is it the content, the lyrics, or the beat?  I researched my preferences.  When running, I like to listen to Christian music.  If I'm going for distance (the long haul) I usually listen to Praise & Worship music by Chris Tomlin, Matt Redman, Fee, etc. (there's nothing like "You Never Let Go" to spur me on in the power of the Holy Spirit ... not to mention I sometimes get ideas about worship series while on these worship-runs).  If I'm going for speed ... well, it's got to have a more driving beat, so I pop in (I know that dates me, I really do use my iPhone, but we used to "pop in" tapes and Cd's) some Hawk Nelson, Stellar Kart, etc. (get a little "Crazy Love" to motivate me to move faster).

If I'm at the gym on the Rowing Machine, I've got to get my Caribbean on ... so, it's some Bob Marley, or if I want to be more progressive I listen to Stefani Hudson suggested Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley or Matisyahu.  If I'm on the Elliptical I love me some Hootie & The Blowfish, James Taylor, or Jimmy Buffett.  And, when lifting weights ... if it's a good day I try experimenting with some Alternative, like Death Cab for Cutie, Fountains of Wayne, etc.  But, if it's a bad day ... and I need some inspiration .. then I need Rock .. and there's nothing like some Led Zeppelin and AC/DC to get the mood in motion.

BITTEST:  It looks like beat may win out over lyrics.  Except that I know lyrics are important.  Recently, I let my son (I've blogged about his Pop/Rap musical taste [if you can call that taste]) listen to "his" music on the way to school.  A song by the New Boyz came on.  Not so bad.  It had a good beat.  But then the lyrics ... "I hope you don’t take this the wrong way ... Girl you look better with the lights off, Better with the lights off, ooh.  Girl you look better with the lights off, Better with the lights off, ooh Better with the lights off."

Really?  I know if I tried this with my better half (who looks FANTASTIC with the lights on and off), that she wouldn't "take this the wrong way".

I invite you to comment or facebook your suggestions for me to try in my next work out ... when I need to Pump Up the Mood.

A No Max Day

Last week was the first week of school. Since I am the parent of two transitionally challenged children, we take these new beginnings carefully. My oldest has started Middle School (which is a transition that has challenged me) and my youngest has started First Grade. With my youngest, the "transitional challenge" has historically been his process of discovering where the new boundaries are with the new teacher and challenging the flexibility of said boundaries.

As any good parent, we have been questioning the children each day on how things are going. My youngest likes to collect money, so the reward system in his class ... getting a dolphin penny for good deeds and changing 10 pennies into a dime and collecting 4 dimes for reward ... seems to be going well.

On Friday my wife was questioning our youngest about his day. He was noticeably down, so she knew something had not gone well. To the question, "What's wrong?" His answer was, "It was a No Max Day." Not knowing exactly what that meant, but getting ready for the possibility that he had to pull a stick (the opposite of the penny reward) ... the teacher saying, "No Max." ... my wife asked for more details. To "How was it a "No Max Day"? his response was "On the playground at recess, everyone I asked if I could play with them said, 'No, Max.'"

BIT: It is a hard life lesson. Sometimes the answer to our questions is "no". That God sometimes tells us "no" was the topic of Sunday's sermon. Paul, who usually seems to have it all together is told "no" twice in Acts 16:6-7. Paul wanted to go to Asia but "having been kept by the Holy Spirit from preaching the word in the province of Asia" (that's Bible Speak for "no"). Then Paul wanted to go to Bithynia "but the Spirit of Jesus would not allow them to" (again a Biblical "no"). Yet, even after two divine "no's" Paul kept on trying and finally the answer came in a vision "of a man of Macedonia standing and begging him, 'Come over to Macedonia and help us.'" (vs. 8)

I shared a little about last week being a "No John" week. A couple of really good things for the church, or at least I thought they were really good things, turned out to be divine "no's". It is easy to respond to "no's" (especially divine "no's") like a first grader ... "So what did you do, Max?" "I went over and sat by myself." Sometimes that's what we want to do. Give up or get into a mood.

BITTER: So, I've decided to model Paul. My plans were vetoed with a divine "no." Yet, we're going to keep on moving. Notice that Paul didn't stop, he "went down to Troas" (vs.8). We're going to keep connected to God in prayer, work out the plan before us, and wait for our vision of who is to "come on over to First Farragut and help us."

My youngest didn't give up completely. Monday he hit the playground, found two boys who wanted to play with him, and had a great time. He even managed to find a new girl friend. I bet it was a "Yes Max Day."

I Got My Friday Back

The reminder came yesterday from my wife, "Tomorrow is Friday." Now, usually that statement is not remarkable for someone grounded in reality and having access to a calendar (my wife IS grounded in reality and while being, at times, scheduling challenged, she has a calendar). What made the announcement remarkable has to do with background. Since my wife is a teacher she has off during the summer. Since there is no school during the summer, my children are also home. The upside of this is that it means that scheduling vacation is easier. The downside is that I lose my alone time on Fridays.

The "background" came about half way through the summer vacation season when I accidentally let something I was thinking slip out of my mouth. The slip was, "I can't wait to get my Friday's back." My wife didn't have to have an interpretation, she knew what I meant, and she was offended (and rightly so). But once it's out ...

BIT: During the school year, Fridays are my day to decompress from the week. It is my day off. I have a very set schedule. I take my oldest to school. I go to the grocery store and do my shopping in a particular way (OCD). I come home and put the groceries in their proper place (OCD). I usually work on some project at home. I eat lunch and go to the gym to workout. I pick up my oldest from school. I soak. I cook dinner. Note there is no "we" involved in my Friday. It is refreshing and, for my introverted self, it recharges me for a new week in an extroverted vocation. As dysfunctional as I've described it, my Fridays are like my Sabbath.

During the summer Fridays look very much like Saturdays. There is a "we" component. It's not that I don't like being around my family ... Though this was the way my wife took, "I can't wait to get my Fridays back."

I do love being around my family. I just need "I" time. Life without a Friday is like someone not following the natural flow of the grocery story, or not putting all the cold items together on the checkout conveyor, or not putting the cereal on the "cereal" shelf.

BITTER: Today is the first Friday that everyone has been in school. This was what my wife was talking about yesterday. So, I dropped off my oldest at school. I went to the grocery store and followed the proper flow through the grocery store. I put my groceries on the conveyor with all the cold items together. I got home and put everything on their proper shelf. My project has been this blog. I will go to the gym in a few. I will pick up my oldest at school. I will come home and have the most amazing saltwater soak in my jacuzzi bath tub. I will grill turkey burgers on the grill with Steak Fries that will make my wife grin. So ... bring on life ... bring on church work ... bring on the family ... you can even put the cereal on the wrong self ... 'Cause, I Got My Friday Back, Baby!

Vacation

I LOVE vacation. It's not that I don't love my job, I do. But I like to get away and travel. Go to the ocean, camp, relax, eat good food ... Because my wife is a teacher, we have to schedule vacation during her time off (I love taking my wife on vacation with me). This usually means the concentration of our vacation is during the summer. For some reason, it seemed to me, and to others, that I was away most of the summer, even though I wasn't.

Because we have so many projects going on at the church (sealing and striping the parking lot, new roof for the building, etc.), the chair of trustees has had to call me several times to coordinate visits, workers, and schedules. First he called me at Annual Conference (which is NOT vacation, though I am wandering around in shorts and camping in my motor home with my family ... but I do work). The next time he called I was in Myrtle Beach on vacation number 1. Then two weeks later, while on vacation number 2 in Atlanta, jokingly he asked, "How many days of vacation do we give you?" To which I replied, "A bunch, and thank you very much for all of them."

BIT: Vacation does make me feel uncomfortable, perhaps guilty. So many things are left undone each time I leave, no matter how hard I've tried to cover all the bases. Maybe it goes back to the "Historic Examination" questions for ordination. There are 19 powerful questions that we must answer before we can be ordained. Question 17 is "Are you determined to employ all your time in the work of God? Question 19 is "Will you observe the following directions? a) Be diligent. Never unemployed. Never be triflingly employed. Never trifle away time; neither spend any more time at any one place than is strictly necessary."

I get stuck on some of these questions from time to time. Like question 2, "Are you going on to perfection?" Well, some weeks it doesn't feel that way. Some weeks it feels like I'm on the highway to hell (spiritually). But usually questions 3, 4, & 5 can get me back on track, "Do you expect to be made perfect in love in this life? Are you earnestly striving after it (perfection)? Are you resolved to devote yourself wholly to God and his work?"

BITTER: The same is true for question 17 (Are you determined to employ all your time in the work of God?) No, I'm determined to employ some of my time in hanging out in a beach chair, completely unemployed, trifling away time doing absolutely nothing. And, I may spend more time than is strictly necessary doing this.

Of course the argument can be made that I'm doing the work of God while resting and relaxing and recharging my spiritual batteries. Jesus did take time to get away. I don't know if I can make an argument for 4 weeks ... though I might try.

Well, I'm back and ready for a new season at First Farragut. I can answer 17 with a "yes" ... until next summer (maybe if I take all the weeks in a row, no one will notice I'm gone?).

Stuck in the Middle with You

Today is Wednesday of Annual Conference Week. It is the end of our meeting time and in a few minutes the bishop will drop his gavel and "set" the appointments for the coming year. My appointment will be to return to the First Farragut United Methodist Church for a fourth year. I am excited to be going back and hope that for many years to come, when the appointments are set, my name will be listed beside First Farragut with incremental years that approach double digits.

During this Conference, I have had many opportunities to reflect back on these three years at First Farragut. On Sunday, after two morning worship services where we looked at how the disciples dealt with the obstacle of the Jewish leaders and what they were called to do and say by God, the Brewster Family boarded the family motor home. With the Saturn in tow, we headed to Lake Junaluska, NC. Shortly after crossing the North Carolina state line, in the midst of the winding and mountainous I-40, I was confronted by a guardrail to the right of me, a car in the lane left of me, and a wheel (metal rim with tire attached) in front of me. It was in my lane. I slowed down as much I could, but we hit the wheel. My decision was to not push the car next to me into the concrete barrier.

The impact with the wheel blew the front wheel of the motor home, damaged the entry steps, and busted the wheels and tires on the right side of our towed Saturn. The next 45 minutes were spent trying to find someone open on a Sunday, near our location in Nowhere, NC, who could help us with three flat tires. We waited for another 2 hours for help to finally arrive.

Due to the delay, I missed the opening worship of Annual Conference. Monday was spent looking at why Holston Annual Conference needs to adopt "A Call to Action" to address the need for more vital churches. This meant we looked terrible statistics of loss and decline over 40 years. Then we followed this depression by haggling over a couple of line items in the budget for next year. As I left for the afternoon, I decided to run around The Lake and reflect.

In three years, we've made some pretty big decisions. Some might even say that we decided to hit a pretty good sized wheel in the road, because the other options weren't really options. As we had these times of visioning and discerning, we reached these difficult decisions with consensus. We all agreed to move boldly, risking what may come for the glory of God. Sometimes it felt like at least three wheels had fallen off. It was difficult to find help because our situation was unique and was bigger than most could handle. The wait was longer than we expected. We wanted results quicker than they came.

But help did come. Three wonderful guys made it to us and changed our motor home tire, towed our car to safety, and then found us rims and tires to complete our fix. I believe our help has arrived for us as a church ... and it's not me. It's the Holy Spirit working in and through us in ways we have not experienced before. There is hope ... We are already doing most of what "A Call to Action" suggests. So, in this next year we'll concentrate on becoming more vital as a congregation.

BIT: So, First Farragut, in a few moments as the gavel falls, in the words of Stealers Wheel describing being on tour (and other things), I'm "stuck in the middle with you". Yes, "clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you, Yes I'm stuck in the middle with you, stuck in the middle with you."

BITTER: Whether we have cars to the left and a guardrail to the right on a winding mountainous road ... Or clowns to the left and jokers to the right, we're stuck on this tour bus together ... For at least one more year. I believe we are going to have a great time, filled with fun adventure as we become a more vital congregation for Jesus Christ. So, here's to Fantastic Four (oh, I may have my blog title for June 2012)!

Fifteen

It happened soon after we were married. It was not a subject that came up in our premarital counseling. We did not discuss it in the nine months we were dating ... nor during our 6 week engagement (which btw had some talking). There were none around the parsonage during any of this time. She had no clue.

We were at a store. I saw them. I lit up with excitement. "Honey, we have to have them!" The answer was a resounding "No. They are creepy." After pleading for some time she put the exclamation point on the discussion with, "And, I find it disturbing that you like them."

They are gnomes. I'm not much on "yard art." But gnomes make me happy. Don't know why. They are not like most "yard art" that jumps out at you and says, "Here I am!" Instead, they are hidden celebrations.

Anyway, we overcame the impasse. Any good husband would not want something that "creeps out" his wife lying around the house ... so I let it go. Then, a couple of years ago my wife gave me a couple of gnomes as a present. She told me these two "don't creep me out as much". They look like normal gnomes to me, so I know this was a sacrificial gift from her to me. I try to keep them hidden in the garden.

BIT: Today, Gincy and I celebrate having been married for 15 years. The gnomes are just an example of the give and take that has to take place to survive that long. Yes, I know 15 years is just a drop in the bucket in comparison to some ... but that just gives me something toward which to look forward. And, I must say that Gincy has had to give more than take. Our prenuptial agreement is a testament to that:

1. She would always have to work, because I probably wouldn't make enough. Which has meant her working at Target and The Thifty Nickel.


2. She would have to move and follow me in my work. Which has meant the stress of finding new jobs everywhere we go.


3. She would never be able to tell a church member to "go to hell," even if they needed to hear it (especially if they needed to hear it). Later, this #3 was amended to include Conference Officials. Which has meant that Gincy has had to bite her tongue on numerous occasions.

BITTER: So, in our first fifteen years, our journey has included: burying both of our last grandmothers, mourning the tragic death of our nephew (Spencer Alford), surviving adopting two fantastic boys (passed parenting test not once, but twice!), vacationing in Mexico (said she'd never do it, never say never), Bahamas, Key West, and Maine, been to Guatemala (wouldn't call it a vacation); we've survived a car accident in South Carolina, survived Hailapocalypse in Farragut, experienced every parent illness known to humanity, meningitis with our oldest, and both of our kids having matching forehead scars.

And so, today, I mark a fifteen year journey with my beautiful wife, Gincy, with what I have selected as my 2011 theme song.

One of Those People

It happened about three months into my "get fit" season. I was having a discussion with someone about my schedule, when it came out ... "You're becoming one of those people." "Those People"? What are "Those People"? I asked for clarification. The response was "Gym People." You know how "those gym people" are? No, please tell me how "those gym people" are. I believe I was just called a fitness freak.

I was offended at the time, but as the fit season continues on, I have had lots of opportunities to see what this person was referring to. "Those People" don't have to be limited to "Gym People", it can be anyone who really gets into something with determination and dedication. When you do something with discipline, intensity, and enthusiasm other people notice. As people (friends, congregation members, family) have noticed that I've become one of "Those People", they've been sharing what they have been doing to lose weight and get fit. Those who've gone through what I have just gone through have shared encouragement.

BIT: As a congregation, First Farragut is studying the Book of Acts in our "Hot Summer in Acts" worship series. No doubt there were those who called the Apostles and their groupies "Those People". Actually, in chapter 2 alone we're told the reaction was "amazed and astonished" (7), "amazed and perplexed" (12), and "awe" (43). Of course there are also those who called "Those People" 9 am drunkards. People noticed that something was going on with these people. They had discipline, determination, dedication ... there was an urgency and an intensity about what they were doing and what they were sharing ... they were enthusiastic ... and people noticed. "And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved." (2:47)

I may be a fitness freak. You have to be pretty freaky or all in to lose 70 pounds in a little over 5 months. People will notice as you go from a size 44 to 33. Some even react with awe. But what I really want to be known for is being a part of "Those People" whose lives are a witness to the loving Savior. And it has happened ... at my gym ... "Hey, aren't you the pastor of that church down the road?" "Yes, Yes, I am!"

BITTER: So, I've actually come to find humor in declaring that I am (probably) "One of Those People." So, in Jeff Foxworthy fashion, I've put together a few things to help you determine if you are "One of Those People"[disclaimer: just because I list these things here does not mean that I've done them (even though I have ... and I apologize)].

• When out at lunch with co-workers you tell them how many fat grams are in their selection ... You might be "One of Those People"


• If you refer to your personal trainer like those who've taken Financial Peace University refer to Dave Ramsey (eg. Colemun would not approve of that) ... You might be "One of Those People"
  


• If you've ever bought new running shoes by going to a place that has a 7 step Personal FIT Process ... and you've paid well over $100 for a pair of shoes you only do one thing in ... You might be "One of Those People"


• You go to the gym even when there is a tornado warning for your area while your wife worries at home ... You might be "One of Those People"


• If you've ever put duct tape over the blisters you got while running so that you can run some more ... You might be "One of Those People"


• If you've ever researched remedies to nipple chafing ... You might be "One of Those People" (be careful with this research!)


• If your gym has featured you in a video ... or if the staff know you by name ... that might be a tell-tale sign that you are "One of Those People"

Goal

I had a goal for today. It was to reach my LOVE goal (yes, inspired by Pat Luna our Stepping Stones to the Future consultant ... I can hear her now, "We HOPE to raise this amount. We have FAITH that we will raise this amount. But, we'd LOVE [Alabama style] to raise this amount.").

I started out getting fit and losing weight 22 weeks ago (5 months). When I started the people at The Rush asked me why I wanted to lose weight and what my goal was. The why was pretty evident (I'll blog some before and after pics next week). My hope goal ("I hope to lose") was 50 pounds. As I approached that goal in March, I knew I could do better. I haven't grown taller since high school, so I set my LOVE ("I'd love to lose") goal of being at my high school weight of 177 (that would be a total loss of 70 pounds).

I had a goal for today. It was to reach my Love goal.

BIT: I've had another goal that I've been working on for some time. In 2008, in preparing to come to First Farragut, I started trying to get fit. I was running. As I remembered it, my celebration of greatest number of miles run in an hour was 6. So, I've been trying to reach that same goal 3 years later and at least 50 pounds lighter. I kept wondering why I wasn't able to do it.

Last week I achieved my goal. I ran 6 miles in under an hour (and then two days later I ran an average pace of less than 9 minutes per mile), only to find that my record wasn't what I remembered. (see http://brewsterbits.blogspot.com/2008/04/5-miles-hour.html). You don't have to take the link ... it was 5 miles an hour. I was working toward a goal that I had already achieved weeks earlier.

We have to set goals in order to work at our mission (purpose). The mission of getting fit and losing weight needs goals. The mission of raising money needs goals. The mission of running needs goals. The mission of the church ... needs goals. I shared with the Charge Conference last year that one of our goals as a church was to have an increase in worship attendance for 2011. I'm excited to say that we are on target to achieve this goal.

Goals challenge us. Paul has a goal that he shared in Philippians 3:10-12: "I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained this or have already reached the GOAL; but I press on to make it my own."

Goals inspire us. Paul was all about inspiring people through difficult times ... inspiring them toward the goals. "So let us not grow weary in doing what is right, for we will reap at harvest-time, if we do not give up."

BITTER: This morning ... I was one pound shy of reaching my Love goal of losing 70 pounds. So, spiritually "I press on for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus." And I'll press on physically ... maybe Friday ... I'll find Love. BTW: If you see me running in your neighborhood ... Call me FLASH!

Power

There's been a lot of buzz around First Farragut about power this week. I have been trying to be intentional about finding the OMG in my preaching (see OMG blog for more info http://brewsterbits.blogspot.com/2011/03/omg.html). We have started a long worship series in the book of Acts called "Hot Summer in Acts" (I knew when I titled it I was setting us up for some really hot weather this summer, but it was 89 at my house yesterday). Sunday was the first part of the Pentecost story, Acts 2:1-13. My question of reflection was the promised power came, but for what ... the power to do what?

This weekend we got to spend time with our mothers in Cleveland and Hixson, and we got to see the tornado damage in person. It was quite extensive. We visited a business that had lost power for 5 days. In worship on May 1 we had many family members from Alabama who came up here to visit with their families because they had no power and it would be days or weeks before it was restored. We've got to have power to run our homes and fuel our cars.

But what about the Church? My point (actually two points) was that the Church needs power ... Power to be a People and Power to Proclaim. There are so many needs just in our community, and when we broaden the scope to the needs of the world ... we can easily feel powerless. Acts tells us differently. God tells us differently. Jesus tells us differently. The Holy Spirit tells us differently. The church tells us differently. We are not powerless. The needs can be met, are being met, and will continue to be met as we open ourselves to the power of the Holy Spirit. Power to fulfill our mission as We Love Jesus Christ, We Love Each Other, and We Serve. (That was the OMG moment for me).

BIT: To highlight my OMG moment, the Holy Spirit lead me to a song (that's my story and I'm sticking to it). It was "The Power" by Snap. So, I ended the sermon by rapping (as best I could) the lyrics to the song:
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda hectic
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda hectic
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda hectic
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda hectic

and then with a creative burst, the lyrics go:
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda heavy
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda heavy
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda heavy
It's gettin', it's gettin', it's gettin' kinda heavy

And then ...

I've got the power! (yes, I sang it ... and sang it soprano). And then I got carried away (some would argue I got carried away right before the rapping). I was dancing (90's style) ... I know, I wouldn't have believed it either ... but there is video (that if posted will lead to serious repercussions).

I couldn't leave the congregation hanging ... so they got to chime in as well. I've got the power ... You've got the power ... We've got the power.

It was Pentecost in Easter at First Farragut!



BITTER: What is before us is not going to be easy. And things are definitely gettin' kinda hectic and heavy with storm devastation, broken lives, broken relationships, hopelessness, poverty, disease, and famine. We need power. The Good News is ... God knows we need the power ... and God gives the Power of the Holy Spirit to us (Acts 1:8 "But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you ...").

Stayin' Alive

I'm a pretty routine kind of guy. I like structure and schedules. I enjoy the Christian year ... Advent, Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Holy Week, Easter. It flows, and it is predictable. It causes me stress when my structured, predictable schedule is interrupted. Of course I'm in the wrong vocation ... interruptions happen frequently.

Such was the case this past Wednesday. My day was going as planned. I had my list of things to do and was well into checking them off. Then the call came (interruption). I would have to come and pick up the boys because they were going to dismiss school a little early and there would not be after school care. I looked at my schedule and realized that I could still pull off my 3:00 appointment with my trainer at the gym and their kid care started at 3:00 ... it's magic!

I picked up my youngest at the primary school ... ran home and changed into my gym clothes ... ran back and got into the line for the intermediate school ... they let out just in time for me to pick up my oldest ... and get to the gym. Since I didn't have to change and was running short on time, I decided to leave my cell phone and wallet in the car. I was stressed, but I was going to work it off ... life was good.

My first inkling that I had made an unwise decision was near the end of my workout as I looked out the window and commented to my trainer, "Wow it looks like it's 8:00 at night". Workout over ... gather up kids ... it's beginning to rain ... get into car ... pick up cell phone ... all kinds of missed calls, messages, and texts. Almost all from my wife ... wondering where we are. Since I'm driving, I don't call or text her ... I'll be home in just a couple of minutes [btw, this was another unwise decision]. I have the radio on and now realize that Knoxville has gone into DEFCON 1 while I have been working out at the gym.

I pull in the driveway and I am met at the door by my beautiful wife, who calmly and lovingly shares her feelings with me ... about my decision to pick up the kids and take them to the gym during a tornado warning ... about how she had canceled her dental appointment in order to rush home to check on her family.

I looked up the word "moron" to make sure she had not used it in a politically incorrect manner. It fit. "A person who is notably stupid or lacking in good judgment." I was a moron. I had lacked good judgment in trying to keep to the schedule and not allow something to alter me or my plans.

BIT: Well the storms came and the Brewster's spent a great deal of time wisely hunkered down in a closet. The hail was huge and powerful and scary ... and destructive. I facebooked on Thursday after the storm, "Thinking of planting some flowers tomorrow ... around my mutilated bushes ... under my stripped trees ... in front of my pocked house ... beside my two dented cars ... a sign of hope?" We did just that. The pictures are before and after (I know I won't be going into the landscape business).

BITTER: Reflecting back on the high of Easter Sunday to the low of Wednesday and back to a high this past Sunday as we celebrated Confirmation Sunday, I can't help but hear the Bee Gees singing:

Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother,
You're stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin', people,
Stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive.

Of course in my reflection I'm wearing roller skates and there is a disco ball. Life is full of breakin' and shakin' (and hail and wind and tornadoes). Easter is all about brokenness being transformed into wholeness ... pain and grief meeting hope ... life (and maybe some flowers) being planted in destruction. It's about stayin' alive ... but not just life ... abundant life ... allowing Christ to alter us (so we're not morons).

Rev. Mickey Rainwater shared a scripture in his column last week. It is Romans 2:1-2 (The Message)
"Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

So, break out of the routine every now and then ... don't be a moron ... be altered ... plant some flowers (there are a whole lot of people who need some) ... be a sign of hope amidst someone's destruction ... be a witness of God's Abundant Life!

Disappointment

We've all done it ... disappoint. Wikipedia defines disappointment as "the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations to manifest." I know (on occasion) I've disappointed my parents, my wife, my kids, my church, my God ... we don't live up to expectations. Sometimes we even disappoint ourselves. We know what we want to do ... need to do ... and we don't measure up. We don't do it.

As we move into Maundy Thursday and then into Good Friday, no doubt there was a lot of disappointment going around. Even knowing God's plan, I can't help but feel that Jesus felt disappointed. Disappointed in Judas, who betrayed him. Disappointed in Peter, James, and John who could not stay awake with him while he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. Disappointed in Peter, who denied him three times. Disappointed in the crowd who chose Barabbas. Disappointment is a major theme in Holy Week.

BIT: Yesterday I weighed in for week 18 in my weight loss (I had lost 60 pounds, now just 59). I knew I had made some poor choices this past week. I ate a hamburger at Season's (not just a burger, but a burger with cheese and sauteed onions) and fries ... then I blogged about my Denied Breakfast on Saturday. I missed my first day of not going to the gym (Saturday). I weighed in on Sunday with a 3 pound gain for the week. I worked hard on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday to get it off. It didn't happen.

I went to The Rush on Wednesday knowing I had gained a pound. In 18 weeks I have not ever gained. Through Christmas ... no gain ... through New Years ... no gain ... through Spring Break in Florida ... no gain.

I had confessed to my trainer, Colemun, that I had gained three pounds on Monday. So, telling him that I had lost two of those pounds by Wednesday ... you would think I would have gotten an "atta boy." Instead, "John, if you'd hit a car with three people in it and you only killed one of them, would that be good news?" [insert knife] While I don't know that I would have been so blunt, it got the point across. It wasn't good news. Whatever excuses I had come up with ... however I wanted to "spin" it ... it was a disappointing week.

BITTER: Disappointment is not what defines us ... No matter who, and how, and how often I've disappointed ... it is not what defines me. Holy Week is a hard week. We look at Jesus and see anguish, fear, choices, sacrifice ... we see denial and disappointment ... it requires us to look at ourselves. Renni Morris, one of our Lay Leaders, shared a quote from a devotional by Robbins Sims at our Church Council meeting on Tuesday, "Holy Week only works, however, if we put ourselves in the thick of it, which involves more than a grim determination to face the worst. It requires courage born of the knowledge that God's sovereign grace surrounds this week and our lives ... There is no time, place, or circumstance beyond which God's grace does not extend."

With Colemun, after my "not good news" confession and his response that I had to get back to business, he didn't bring up the weight gain again during our session (except for a comment during our workout about how much more we had to go toward our goal ... he mentioned that it would have been 10 pounds, but now it was 11 [and turn the knife]). He knows I'm not defined by gaining one pound in week 18 ... that I'm a disappointment (I am his "poster child" or as my wife calls it, his "cash cow").

Thursday and Friday of Holy Week may be focused on a series of disappointments. Our lives may be punctuated by a series of disappointments. Things we've done and things we've left undone abound. But Sunday's coming ... when God's grace and love overcomes whatever disappointments may have defined our lives ... as we accept God's Resurrection power and life, our lives are defined not by what we do ... but by what Christ does for us.

Have a Blessed Holy Triduum.

Denied

It seems like Easter will never get here! I don't know why, but it seems like Lent has lasted forever. I know it is partly because Easter is so late this year. Usually we are scrambling (this is a delayed pun) to recover from Christmas and Advent so we can jump right into Lent.

Each Lent I have tried to do something new (add) to grow spiritually during these 40 days of preparing for Easter, and I try to give up something (deny). This year I have fasted on Thursdays (anyone who knows me knows this is not easy). In years past, I've not made it. This year I believe I did (during the week when I had the Super Moon Flu I did not fast on Thursday)... one more to go. The denial of something I enjoy helps me to connect with the sacrifice that Jesus made for me during this Holy Week (though it doesn't even compare).

Denial has made it seem like a long Lent. I guess the opposite is true of "Time flys when you're having fun" ... Time drags on when you're in Denial (trying to restrain myself from telling the joke that da nile is not just a river in Egypt). Lent is a great time for me ... to reflect ... to learn ... to reconnect to my faith ... but thank God ... Holy Week is here!

BIT: The other "partly" for why my Lent may seem to be dragging also has to do with denial. It has to do with what I've been doing (or perhaps better stated, not been doing) for the last four months. Rather than for spiritual reasons, I have been denied for physical reasons. If you've been following the blog, you know that I have been trying to eat healthier and exercise in order to lose weight. I have lost 60 pounds so far. Since I am the primary food preparer for our family, my family has been (sometimes reluctantly) on the way with me.

One of the traditions in the Brewster house is to have a big breakfast on Saturday morning. Traditionally, this has included eggs, bacon and/or sausage, and biscuits and gravy. This was not going to work ... so, Saturday breakfast, since December, has been modified. Eggs (a good source of protein ... though I usually eat scrambled egg whites) and turkey sausage. Sometimes I fix the kids a biscuit (but if I'm feeling weak ... no, a biscuit for you ... I run a tight kitchen).

Saturday before last, my oldest ... looking at his modified Saturday breakfast of eggs, turkey sausage and biscuits (it was a strong day) ... asked me when we were going to have a "real" breakfast. I knew what he was asking, but told him that this was a "real" breakfast. He responded that he wanted breakfast "like we used to have with meat and biscuits with gravy." I explained that turkey was a meat ... even though I knew what he was talking about. I thought about it ...

GRAVY ... how many calories and fat grams could there be in flour browned in pig grease and doused with milk? I didn't check. This past Saturday ... the Brewster's were denied no longer (though we won't have this every Saturday)!

BITTER: Isn't biscuits and gravy with real sausage and whole eggs scrambled in butter a lot like Easter after a really long Lent? Have a Blessed Holy Week.

Colemun Ricker

I've written about him here on the blog (you can search "Colemun" in the search box to the right to pull up those blogs) ... I've quoted him to our staff at First Farragut ... I've whined about him to my family ... I've talked about him and with him at First Farragut Church (he came and did an interview during worship in the "Get Pumped!" worship series) ... it's a wonder someone hasn't told me to "Shut up already about the Colemun." So, instead of a shut up ... with the advent of The Rush video with VP Rob Rettmann and Colemun ... I wanted to give Colemun a shout out.

I went to The Rush back in December (2010). Having tried everything known to humanity to loose weight, I knew I needed help ... professional help. I'm a Biggest Loser fan. I like to sit on the couch with my bag of Fritos and dip them in Peanunt Butter while watching Jillian kick thier butts. I needed a Jillian (my wife calls Colemun "Jillian" [sorry dude] "So, how was Jillian today?" she asks), and I needed to throw out the Fritos.

God has a way of putting just the right people and events in my life when I need them. God had to really work on this one. From Jill-Marie Weaver, our Children's Director at the time, inviting me to The Rush for a spin class (NEVER went ... thought about that bike seat with 250 pounds ... and my seat ... well, you get the picture ... sorry for that picture) to Stefani Hudson, our Administrative Assistant, telling me every time I complained, "You need to go to The Rush!" over and over, lead me to Colemun.

Colemun was the right person. It is not an easy feat to go from a couch potato to losing nearly 60 pounds and fitting into a t-shirt you wore in college in 1990 (Colemun is barred from 1990 jokes), all in just 4 months. I had vacations, Christmas, New Years, and generally just bad weeks during this time. I needed to be inspired, challenged, and motivated. Colemun is a huge part of my success. Not only did he teach me how to do the exercises I needed to do to reach my goal (correctly -- he's smart that way), he didn't hurt me .. well, he did hurt me, and on several occasions (one of which I blogged about) ... he didn't injure me (we're still working on ninja feet). And the temporary pain has really paid off.

So ... thanks to The Rush ... thanks to Colemun (we still have some more work to do). I highly recommend both!


BIT: As for The Rush video ... the day after recording that ... my facebook post was "Hubris is painful." I really pushed it so that I wouldn't look goofy. That "Easter Bunny Burpee" (jump, burpee, pushup -- I rename some of the exercises) didn't look ANYWHERE near like that until the camera came out. And, the sliders with the pushups on the balls ... it COMPLETELY collapsed the first time ... but when the camera came out ... I was a rock star. Yes, Colemun + Rob and his Video Camera + John's Pride = SORE abs and legs.

Hope Is Present

My original plan was to blog today about last Sunday's message. It would have been on fear. But something has been working on me for the last couple of weeks and some times you just have to let it out. I realized it last night at our Staff Parish Relations Committee meeting. Marty Layman is a member of our group, I knew that today was a special day in his family's life, but I knew I would come completely unglued if I said or did anything. [I've already made three trips to the rest room to get tissue this morning writing this first paragraph]. Today is the birthday of Garrett Lee Layman. He would have been one today. I don't really know what I want to say. First Farragut Church is marking this time by announcing the Garrett Lee Layman Memorial Scholarship for TAKE-OFF (our parent's day out school). This Sunday our congregation will have an opportunity to give a gift to this fund that will make possible scholarships for TAKE-OFF. It is a living legacy. Gincy and I will be giving a gift to this fund. The Layman Family is very involved with The March of Dimes. Holly has a page where you can support her by walking or giving a gift (http://www.marchforbabies.org/personal_page.asp?pp=3438401&ct=4&w=4535160&u=hlayman). What to say? I really didn't know what to say, so I went back to what I shared at Garrett's Celebration of Life Service. So Here's the Bit.

BIT: It was proud big sister Olivia who said what we all were thinking – gathered there in that small room off of the NICU at East Tennessee Children’s Hospital. Upon hearing about the death of her little brother, Garrett, from her mom and dad – in the midst of her grief she said it – “This is the worst day ever.”

Sunday had been a great day – Easter Sunday. Olivia was out on Main Street at First Farragut Church clutching the picture of her little brother Garrett. We had all experienced the hope and joy of Easter – the Resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. We had the single red rose on the altar rail celebrating the birth of Garrett Lee Laymon that week. I’d preached a sermon on the empty promises of Easter – an empty cross, the promise that our sins are forgiven – an empty tomb, the promise of eternal life – empty burial clothes, the promise of a close personal relationship with our living Savior, Jesus Christ. It was a glorious day filled with promise.

Only two days later – Tuesday -- we were filled with profound emptiness. It was what we had been praying for weeks would not happen. And it happened … so quickly … right in the midst of our hope and promise.

What do you say? My experience tells me that there is no loss so striking, so numbing, so tragic, so full of grief, as the loss of a child. Any loss is tragic for those left behind. But the loss of a child seems to have its own extraordinary kind of tragedy. Our minds naturally want to race ahead into the promise of life – what precious Olivia did after declaring that Tuesday was the worst day ever – a litany of all the things little Garret and she would never do together, each accented with her grief. This worst day ever, will forever be etched into my mind.

Yes, the death of a child has its own kind of tragedy. Our children are supposed to bury us, as their elderly parents. Our children are supposed to outlive us. Our children are supposed to carry on our family name, our family traditions, our family memories. At least that’s how I would plan it. And my words, just like on Tuesday, seem so empty.

What we lack in words – we make up for in presence. Words aren’t going to be able to begin healing your pain – but presence will. Paul says it this way, “I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

It is God’s presence that makes my spirit say to you, I’m convinced that this is not God’s will. God does not will suffering and sorrow and death. God wills the abundant life. The truth is -- God mourns with us. God knows our sense of loss, our sense of sorrow, our sense of grief. On Tuesday -- the worst day ever -- after Resurrection Sunday and because of Resurrection Sunday, Jesus with tears in his eyes, because he knew the pain that death brings to those left behind – especially because it was someone so special -- received little Garrett saying, “little child, come to me, the kingdom of God belongs to you.”

It is presence here tonight that tells my spirit that miracle baby Garrett, had an impact, even in only 8 days.

It is presence here tonight that tells my spirit that Marty & Holly and Olivia are in good hands. Yes, their burden is enormous – greater than any I can imagine. But I also know that many of you are a part of the Body of Christ at First Farragut Church. I know that presence is going to take care of you. First Farragut is a place of Christian love and care and fellowship – the communion of saints, the body of believers at First Farragut reaches out to you to be with you, to stand with you, to pray for you, to cry with you, that we may together express our hope in a risen Savior.

Many of you are friends and family who have experienced the love and grace of God many times. I know your presence surrounds and upholds Marty and Holly with the peace of God.

Your presence, the Body of Christ’s presence, God’s eternal presence embraces us. An infinte God grieves with us. This parent God lifts this little Garrett from the fragile embrace of death and gives him new life in an eternal realm. And so, people of God, gather around this miracle. That even on the worst day ever, God’s presence, the Church’s presence, the loving ones presence – brought the Easter Resurrection Promise to fulfillment – That in the midst of the worst day ever – death – hope was present. Hope is present.

BITTER: Happy Birthday, Garrett!

Revealing

It will probably go down as one of my more crazy ideas. I designed a t-shirt for when I reached my original goal of losing 50 pounds and weighing under 200. That's not the crazy idea. The crazy idea was how I was going to let my congregation know that I had reached this goal. They have been watching me slowly loose the weight over 3 and a half months. We did a mini worship series on "Get Pumped!" from 1 Corinthians, which highlighted getting fit and healthy, both physically and spiritually. They have been part of my inspiration as they've given me encouragement to keep going. So, I wanted them to celebrate with me.

So, the shirt had come in the mail before spring break but I had not reached the goal. And, I didn't plan to reach the goal over spring break ... eating twice at Fudpuckers in Destin while on vacation will not help you lose weight! But it sure was good. I gained 3 pounds. But then I came down with the flu ... lost the 3 pounds I had gained ... and 5 more. This past Friday I reached my goal. I weighed 197 pounds! I celebrated with Colemun, my fit trainer at The Rush ... but I didn't wear the t-shirt (because he would make me get it all sweaty). I'll wear it to The Rush on Wednesday when I have my session.

I facebooked that I was going to have a big surprise in worship on Sunday ... and all kinds of people tried to guess what it would be. Even some church members from my distant past remembered other crazy things I've done in worship.

No one guessed. I put on the t-shirt. Put my dress shirt over it. Put on my tie. Put on my robe. Put on my stole. And then at the sermon time ... I told them it was time for the surprise. I took off my stole. I took off my robe. I took off my tie. It was reported that one of our first-time visitors leaned over to the person who had invited them and asked, "What have you gotten me into here?" To which she responded, "He's not ever done this before." I took off my dress shirt to REVEAL my OnederLand t-shirt. Needless to say, I believed they were surprised. At least they looked surprised.

BIT: People started calling it a striptease, which I have opted to use "progressive reveal". Striptease in worship just doesn't sound right. Of course we did have a discussion in Church Council this week on Pole Dancing for Jesus. Don't worry, it was a very short discussion. There will be no more "reveals" for a while at First Farragut (or Pole Dancing).

BITTER: Thank you First Farragut for all your support and love. I am the most blessed to be your pastor!

Anguish

During Lent, we've been looking at the "24 Hours That Changed the World", and this past Sunday we entered the Garden of Gethsemane. The words used by the Gospel of Mark in describing Jesus in the Garden are "greatly distressed and troubled." (14:33) Out of his own mouth, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death." (14:34) Jesus was anguishing.

Anguish is defined as "agonizing physical or mental pain -- torment." I would include in the mental pain category, spiritual pain or struggle. Jesus will go through physical pain and struggle later in the 24 hours, when he is tortured humiliated and ultimately crucified. But as we enter the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus, we experience Jesus' spiritual struggle.

Sometimes we place so much emphasis on Jesus' divinity that we lose sight of his humanity. That he was fully human meant that he felt many of the same emotions and feelings that we feel. We have seen Jesus be angry with the money changers, tempted by Satan in the wilderness, grieve at the loss of a dear friend, and now feel anguish. One of his best friends in all of the world has left to go turn him in to the authorities (even betraying him with a kiss), the other eleven will all desert him, three (Peter, James, and John) cannot even stay awake during his darkest hour of prayer and struggle, Peter (his most loyal) denies him three times before morning, and he knows he his facing ridicule, torture, pain, suffering, and one of the most gruesome deaths imaginable, crucifixion.

As Jesus anguishes in his spirit, he responds much the same we do when we are experiencing deep spiritual or physical struggle or pain. He goes to God and says, "Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me." Our spiritual and physical anguish many times leads to asking the question "why?" Why do healthy and good people die of cancer? Why do children sometimes die before their parents? Why am I not finding the right person to marry?

One of the greatest tirings we struggle with is trying to understand the will of God. What is my purpose? And when things turn rough and we anguish, we ask, how in the world does this fit into your divine plan for me? Why does it have to be so hard? Surely, there is a better way.

Maybe that was what Jesus was going through in the Garden of Gethsemane. Even though he knew and understood the will of God, his anguish lead him to ask God to "remove this cup from me." But his simple prayer didn't end there ... "yet not what I will, but what you will."

BIT: Our challenge on Sunday was to look at where we are in the story. Find yourself in the story. Are you like Jesus -- struggling with knowing the will of God and actually doing the will of God? Are you like the three disciples -- who are unable to stay awake, or pay attention, or follow through when Jesus most needed them? Are you like Judas -- who'd had enough of Jesus not measuring up to his expectations and is out of here? Or, are you like Job (who's not in the story, but I added him as a bonus) -- struggling with determining the will of God in your life?

What is that you anguish with in your life? Are you to a point in the struggle where you can say, "yet not what I want, but what you want"?

Let us continue our journey and observance of Lent together.

Tired

This week has been vacation for the Brewster Family. We started out with a weekend with my 40 year old sister in Springfield, TN. We had a great time and great food celebrating her momentous birthday. Then mom and dad in their motor home and us in ours traveled to Destin, FL for 5 days on the beach. Luckily, I didn't burn myself until the third day (this must be some kind of record ... usually I'm a lobster by day 2).

It has been a fantastic week! Great weather! Great food (high marks for the Stefani Hudson recommendation of Fudpuckers -- be careful with the name, but the food and fun was amazing! Great beach! Great camp site -- 200 ft from the ocean! It has been a great and relaxing time for me. Covered up like a vampire ... in my chair ... sitting on the beach ... good book ... I think you can get the picture.

BIT: Sometimes vacations can be hectic and draining. Too much activity. Each morning my better half asks, "What's the plan?" My reply has been, "There is no plan." The only ritual has been running each morning on the beach ... 30 minutes one way ... 30 minutes back ... mostly to atone (a subject we will be covering in our new worship series ... part 2 this Sunday!) for the sins of the previous evening, and continued fasting on Thursdays. So, I am well rested.

Our non-schedule has meant that my two kids have had many opportunities .. pools, beach, shopping, restaurants, bike riding ... so I was reminded how draining a vacation can be when my youngest fell asleep while eating a pop tart -- yes, that is a bite in his mouth ... mid chew.

BITTER: No matter how tired I've ever been ... I've never fallen asleep while eating. Thanks First Farragut for this fantastic time away.