Fifteen

It happened soon after we were married. It was not a subject that came up in our premarital counseling. We did not discuss it in the nine months we were dating ... nor during our 6 week engagement (which btw had some talking). There were none around the parsonage during any of this time. She had no clue.

We were at a store. I saw them. I lit up with excitement. "Honey, we have to have them!" The answer was a resounding "No. They are creepy." After pleading for some time she put the exclamation point on the discussion with, "And, I find it disturbing that you like them."

They are gnomes. I'm not much on "yard art." But gnomes make me happy. Don't know why. They are not like most "yard art" that jumps out at you and says, "Here I am!" Instead, they are hidden celebrations.

Anyway, we overcame the impasse. Any good husband would not want something that "creeps out" his wife lying around the house ... so I let it go. Then, a couple of years ago my wife gave me a couple of gnomes as a present. She told me these two "don't creep me out as much". They look like normal gnomes to me, so I know this was a sacrificial gift from her to me. I try to keep them hidden in the garden.

BIT: Today, Gincy and I celebrate having been married for 15 years. The gnomes are just an example of the give and take that has to take place to survive that long. Yes, I know 15 years is just a drop in the bucket in comparison to some ... but that just gives me something toward which to look forward. And, I must say that Gincy has had to give more than take. Our prenuptial agreement is a testament to that:

1. She would always have to work, because I probably wouldn't make enough. Which has meant her working at Target and The Thifty Nickel.


2. She would have to move and follow me in my work. Which has meant the stress of finding new jobs everywhere we go.


3. She would never be able to tell a church member to "go to hell," even if they needed to hear it (especially if they needed to hear it). Later, this #3 was amended to include Conference Officials. Which has meant that Gincy has had to bite her tongue on numerous occasions.

BITTER: So, in our first fifteen years, our journey has included: burying both of our last grandmothers, mourning the tragic death of our nephew (Spencer Alford), surviving adopting two fantastic boys (passed parenting test not once, but twice!), vacationing in Mexico (said she'd never do it, never say never), Bahamas, Key West, and Maine, been to Guatemala (wouldn't call it a vacation); we've survived a car accident in South Carolina, survived Hailapocalypse in Farragut, experienced every parent illness known to humanity, meningitis with our oldest, and both of our kids having matching forehead scars.

And so, today, I mark a fifteen year journey with my beautiful wife, Gincy, with what I have selected as my 2011 theme song.