Anguish

During Lent, we've been looking at the "24 Hours That Changed the World", and this past Sunday we entered the Garden of Gethsemane. The words used by the Gospel of Mark in describing Jesus in the Garden are "greatly distressed and troubled." (14:33) Out of his own mouth, "My soul is very sorrowful, even to death." (14:34) Jesus was anguishing.

Anguish is defined as "agonizing physical or mental pain -- torment." I would include in the mental pain category, spiritual pain or struggle. Jesus will go through physical pain and struggle later in the 24 hours, when he is tortured humiliated and ultimately crucified. But as we enter the Garden of Gethsemane with Jesus, we experience Jesus' spiritual struggle.

Sometimes we place so much emphasis on Jesus' divinity that we lose sight of his humanity. That he was fully human meant that he felt many of the same emotions and feelings that we feel. We have seen Jesus be angry with the money changers, tempted by Satan in the wilderness, grieve at the loss of a dear friend, and now feel anguish. One of his best friends in all of the world has left to go turn him in to the authorities (even betraying him with a kiss), the other eleven will all desert him, three (Peter, James, and John) cannot even stay awake during his darkest hour of prayer and struggle, Peter (his most loyal) denies him three times before morning, and he knows he his facing ridicule, torture, pain, suffering, and one of the most gruesome deaths imaginable, crucifixion.

As Jesus anguishes in his spirit, he responds much the same we do when we are experiencing deep spiritual or physical struggle or pain. He goes to God and says, "Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me." Our spiritual and physical anguish many times leads to asking the question "why?" Why do healthy and good people die of cancer? Why do children sometimes die before their parents? Why am I not finding the right person to marry?

One of the greatest tirings we struggle with is trying to understand the will of God. What is my purpose? And when things turn rough and we anguish, we ask, how in the world does this fit into your divine plan for me? Why does it have to be so hard? Surely, there is a better way.

Maybe that was what Jesus was going through in the Garden of Gethsemane. Even though he knew and understood the will of God, his anguish lead him to ask God to "remove this cup from me." But his simple prayer didn't end there ... "yet not what I will, but what you will."

BIT: Our challenge on Sunday was to look at where we are in the story. Find yourself in the story. Are you like Jesus -- struggling with knowing the will of God and actually doing the will of God? Are you like the three disciples -- who are unable to stay awake, or pay attention, or follow through when Jesus most needed them? Are you like Judas -- who'd had enough of Jesus not measuring up to his expectations and is out of here? Or, are you like Job (who's not in the story, but I added him as a bonus) -- struggling with determining the will of God in your life?

What is that you anguish with in your life? Are you to a point in the struggle where you can say, "yet not what I want, but what you want"?

Let us continue our journey and observance of Lent together.